Darkness & dessert: 5 things to do in Montréal, Canada for women’s wellness

Y’all know I love curating my life and teaching other women and/or menstruators to do the same. There is something just so freaking powerful about all of us living cyclically, listening to what our bodies are saying, and creating a massive global movement to revitalize the divine feminine on earth. I also find this to be a practice of decolonization that all of us can tap into regardless of our gender, sex, racialized identity, ancestry, age, income, ability and more. WHOOP WHOOP!

I’m currently working with an amazing intuitive healer who has been helping me to release some deeply held traumas that were/are manifesting in physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ways. I’m starting to sense that perhaps this is just the definition of going through Life. Then there is another part of me that sees it as a really important part of balance with joy, having fun, and getting to live in the present moment. Long story short, she recommended I get my Reiki Level 1 certification to learn how to channel energy from The Universe through my own hands, and get attuned. If this is sounding a little bit like, “Taq how did we get from menstrual cycles to doing magic…” check out my online course The Upgrade to find out more.

And now, moving on to pastries.

I did some googling of Reiki Level 1 training, and there is a wonderful teacher Mama Oracle who leads and trains Level 1 and Level 2 workshops in Montréal, Canada. I love me a good retreat moment, so I secured my spot with Tamara and with the support of my partner, who has a magical and scientific ability to get the most amount of Aeroplan points. I booked my trip to the Paris of Canada in search of wellness and the aforementioned pastries (Okay, Parisians and Montréalers if there is some sort of blood feud between you and I have somehow offended entire families, that’s my bad).

While I went for the Reiki training, I found myself experiencing an abundance of wellness activities and experiences, and am so honored and grateful to share them with you below. It’s time to get your daydreaming vibe onnnnnnnnn gorgeous. Bon voyage!

1. Graceful strolls to the boulangerie in the morning (bonus points if you are doing this during Menstrual Autumn/PMS)

I recommend staying in Centre-Ville (Downtown) or as close to Vieux Montréal (Old Montréal) as you possibly can. For the hikers and nature lovers out there, the McGill University campus is a car-free oasis which gorgeous flowers and an access path to Mont-Royal Park. I booked my hotel at the Holiday Inn and Suites (which has a penthouse, panoramic indoor pool and hot tub!). It was a 5 min walk to campus, and a 30-minute walk to Old Montreal. On my way to the old city, my baked good spidey-sense started going off big time, and I turned to see through the windows of the gorgeous Rossetti boulangerie. With several locations across town, you can experience (aka drool over) the display cases full of overflowing in a good way sandwiches, raspberry-topped custard tarts, buttery chocolate croissants, mini cakes that are so darn cute, and more. Conveniently, I had timed my trip with Menstrual Autumn/PMS (If you’re thinking, “Taq, come again?” check out my masterclass Rest & Freedom) which is when I notice my dessert-detection-and-desire-quotient is at an all-time high. I stocked up for a solo picnic date and the late-night snack I knew I would want at 9 pm, and with great enthusiasm thanked the staff and universe for making it all happen.

2. Get your 10,000 steps along the pier and water in Old Port

With a backpack full of boulangerie goods, my current library book, and water I weaved my way through the cobbled streets of the old city and made my way down to the Old Port. I visited in the summer and it was ideal. Some of you know my parents and ancestors are from the Punjab region of India and Pakistan, and while it’s more northern part of the South Asian sub-continent, I still loves me some heat. During my trip, I experienced 1 out of 8 days of the year in Canada where my legs get to declare their presence to the world in shorts. As I shared above, I was also in Menstrual Autumn/PMS, which meant that I was noticing quite of bit of fear, anger, self-doubt, guilt (you get the deal), and more trapped emotions that were and are to be released when my period arrives. I find that a gentle walk and steady state cardio is so helpful for the nervous system to feel into our emotions and then just send them down into the Earth’s core for composting.

I had happily just broken in a pair of sneakers from my favourite walking shoe of all time, Keds. This meant, that I could walk around processing my emotions in the gorgeous setting of Old Port. The stroll along the waterfront moves and curves with the Kaniatariowanenneh or St. Lawrence River. It gives Venice Beach vibes and even features an infinity pool for seagulls.

3. Embrace the luxurious beauty, mystique, joy, and pleasure of darkness at Scandinave Spa

Ho my gawd. Scandinave though. Imagine an underground cave for Goddesses with dim mood lightings, hot tubs with waterfalls, eucalyptus steam rooms, tasteful bean bag chairs, and a green smoothie hand-delivered to you promptly at 3:59pm. The staff and genius behind the Scandinave Spa company get me. I’ve been to their Whistler, Canada location with my sisters, which is an outdoor snowy oasis that has a no phones and no speaking policy on the edge of the west coast mountains. Scandinave Spa in Vieux Montréal is its own unique experience and is an example of the beauty of darkness. I’ve decided to make an intervention in wellness spaces and the use of the lightness (good) and darkness (bad) binary. I literally cringe every time I read it being brought up and I am going to use my voice to see if we can shift it to lightness (good) and darkness (good) instead, just with their own healthy and wounded conditions. Similar to the binary of Yin and Yang in Traditional East Asian Medicine.

I booked my timeslot for 2:30 pm (you can technically stay until they close! I stayed until about 4:30 pm or so). It was a hooooootttt sweaty day in Montréal and I had already gotten my morning stroll in the sun. I was pretty ready to go chill in their cold plunge which gives a clay-spiral-staircase-into-a-tropical-paradise energy. Being the hot tub lover that I am, I started in the hot pool and then did the full circuit according to what my body was saying. As I walked, steamed, and steeped my way around the Spa, I began to notice how liberating being in the dark truly was. Darkness is good, darkness is great, and darkness is never a bad place to be or something we are all trying to escape.

It’s actually fear and panic that we can cycle out of and gesture instead toward love and peace. Meditation is darkness. I have to say I had one of my longest and deepest meditation sessions at the spa, with some major ‘aha’ moments. When you go, take some time to close your eyes and go inward into the dark. Let me know what creative inspirations you come out with!

4. Catch a glimpse of the Montréal festival scene

I’m a get-into-bed-at-9 pm kind of human, so I will be the last one to give you advice on Osheaga. During my trip, the Montréal Complètement Cirque (Montréal Circus Festival) was taking place. On my way back from the Old Port, I did catch a glimpse of Le Géant, a spectacle featuring a (you guessed it) Giant metal human-like structure that the circus team members climb, jump, and spiral their way around in an attempt to get to the top. For a comprehensive review of Montréal’s festivals throughout the summer months visit Destination Canada’s recap here.

5. Feel safe a supported by men (usually) in an Uber ride to and from the Airport

I do love me an Uber. There is something about typing in an address and being certain that both of us know exactly what we are doing, and having a sense of agency. At the same time, there is a part of me that is protective of me getting into a car alone with a strange (usually) man on the way to someplace. It’s my own healing work to do, though I still like to acknowledge it in case you feel it too.

I consciously allowed myself to live with an open heart on the way to Montréal-Pierre Elliott Trudeau International Airport.

On the way to my hotel, I was picked up by a lovely man who must have been in his late twenties or early thirties who offered me chilled water. We sat in silence listening to the radio. Then, a moment hit once we reached Centre-Ville and the opening notes of Whitney Houston’s, “I want to dance with somebody” rang through the speakers. Both me and the Uber driver started spontaneously dancing and wiggling in our seats as if inspired by Whitney’s presence and vocal spellbinding. The driver at this point is just barely containing himself from singing it out loud, every once in a while, I hear him snap his fingers. He slowly and surely turns up the volume on the radio until the very last note.

On the way home, I had a lovely conversation with an Uncle-ji from Punjab, Pakistan, which led to a ride-length conversation about Life. His two children are in their early to mid-twenties and both work in major Canadian banks. Both of them got jobs in Montréal and he moved with them. As we Punjabis do, we got onto the topic of life in South Asia, and he dropped a one-line gem: “What is life without hope?”

Taking my bags from beside me, I wished him Sat Sri Akal and prayed for systems and structures led by people in their conscious loving minds, rather than from a place of fear and separation that leads to things like colonialism. We talked about where he goes for vacation, his children and what they do, and the obligatory me reassuring him that his adult daughter is living her best single life, and there is never rush or pressure to date anyone.

Both rides instilled my faith that it is okay for me to be in my feminine energy and allow myself to be supported by the people and communities and Universe around us.

Sending you so much love Gorgeous!

In solidarity,

Taq

ਤਕਦੀਰ ਕੌਰ Dr. Taq Kaur Bhandal is the CEO of I’m With Periods. To learn from her, enroll in her online courses for women and partners (husbands, fiancés, boyfriends, etc.). She also has a guidebook called Self-Care Down There for all genders and sexualities with gender-neutral language. She is physically based in Halifax, Nova Scotia on Mi’kmaq Treaty Territories and spends an abundance of time on the west coast of Canada close to Vancouver, British Columbia with her family. Her ancestors and parents are from the Punjab region of India and Pakistan. She is passionate about long walks in the forest with her fiancé and dog, and reading rom-coms in the bath.

The patriarchal way in which much of the world operates can get to us sometimes. Due dates, irate clients or customers, the pressures of work, and the constant expectation to perform. Perhaps not everyone feels this way, though I know it can all start to get to me. As I grow and evolve as a person and woman aka “adult” into my mid-30s I’ve noticed that out-of-balance masculine energy aka Negative People get me more riled up than ever before.

Up until my mid-twenties, the masculine way of approaching Life, such as logic, performance, production, linearity, and achievement truly ruled my goals and interests. Many of our jobs exist in the masculine. Whether we work for a small private firm, a large public institution, or a charity. Even as business owners, we balance the masculine and feminine on the daily to get our message and offering out into the world. Now, I find myself more and more leaning into feminine goals or intentions a lot more, such as cultivating healthy relationships, cyclical living, energetics, and collapsing time.

But back to the out-of-balance masculine energy. This can show up as some who presents as negative, cynical, nasty, and someone who just hits our trauma triggers in a particular way. I have to admit, for me because of my own lived experiences, I find more often than not, the energy of out-of-balance men to be the most challenging to navigate. I come across this type of energy from time to time in my day job, and I truly feel a pit of anxiety in my stomach every time it happens. Do you ever have that experience too? Where it feels like even though there is so much positivity in your life, this one person or situation can pull you into a state of worry, fear, anxiety, anger, retreat, and a sense of helplessness.

For the last 3 months, I have been practicing the energetics of navigating Life and managing my own energy and emotions around extremely negative people. 95% of the time, things are dandy and my clients, friends, and community are so incredibly loving, kind, helpful, and respectful. Then there is the 5% of the time, that has me playing the blame game, (“they suck and need to figure out their life!”), or the shame game (“I did something wrong”). The intensity of these games has definitely gone down over the last 3 cycles, and I would say (like with many aspects of Life), that tuning into my menstrual cycle has been incredibly helpful in my journey to navigate and/or “deal” with people with negative mindsets and ways of being.

Period/Menstrual Winter: Major protection mode. Set intentions like: “To be loving, kind, and approach through forgiveness. At the same time, I am unavailable to leak my energy. I am impermeable. Right now and always, I am unavailable to anyone disturbing my peace.”

Pre-Ovulation/Menstrual Spring: Our self-confidence is a great tool here. Even when our bodies might be buzzing with worry, we can tap into the knowing that we are being divinely guided. I am meant to be learning this lesson at this particular time. I got this.

Ovulation/Menstrual Summer: Celebrate ourselves, and do something fun that brings us joy! I like to try a new restaurant with my partner, hang out with friends, watch a funny movie, or get out into the forest for a nice long walk.

PMS/Menstrual Autumn: PMS around Negative People can feel like jumping through flaming hoops. This is where we can really draw on ancestral knowledge like meditation, self-awareness, and movement practices. One of these days, I’m going to go to a boxing class during PMS just to get out my own anger and shake off any anger that I might have absorbed from anyone around me.

Personal development, self-growth, and energetic practices do take quite a bit of discipline. There are days when I say, “universe, I’m good on lessons for now, if you could make this day super chill and easy that would be great.” However, I know deep down that through growth and evolution comes the feeling of ease, and the feeling of being protected from the people with a negative energetic field around us.

In solidarity y’all

Taq

Hi & Sat Sri Akal, I’m ਤਕਦੀਰ ਕੌਰ Dr. Taq Kaur Bhandal, the CEO of I’m With Periods. To learn from me, enroll in my online courses for women and our boyfriends or get a copy of my book Self-Care Down There. I am physically based in Halifax, Nova Scotia on Mi’kmaq Treaty Territories. I was born and raised on the west coast of Canada close to Vancouver, British Columbia. My ancestors and family are from the Punjab region of India and Pakistan. I’m passionate about long walks in the forest with my fiancé and dog, and reading rom-coms in the bath.